Bullies and unstable children

There's a common theme running through the school killings, most lately, the Virginia Tech massacre. The person didn't fit in, was bullied, called horrible names.

When I was 11, I moved to a new community and had my first taste of middle school. Those were possibly the worst two years of my life. Because I "talked different," "dressed different," I was fair game for kids to constantly pick on me, call me names, spread bizarre rumors about me (my favorite was I smoked and kept the cigarettes in my shoe) and occasional have physical violence happen such as having one's head being slammed by a locker door. Mostly girls would surround me and pick apart everything about me until I felt 1 inch tall. My hair was ugly, I was ugly, my clothes weren't the right clothes. Boys wouldn't date me. I was called "Retard," "Fembot" (I always wondered if some of them picked up that I was gay before I did) stupid jokes about my last name. It was very traumatic for me. Two months after I had arrived I hid in the bathroom in this school, crying and screaming until a teacher finally coaxed me out. I was sick a lot. I was depressed. I did not speak in 7th grade for fear of drawing attention to myself.

Guess what? I didn't go into the school with loaded weapons although my father did own a shot gun and a rifle. I didn't bring knives. I never even lifted a finger to hurt any of these sorry people. I think the worst thing I did was draw a picture of the worst offender, Margie, and throw darts at it or tear it up. Yes, I still remember your name. I learned to defend myself with humor. By eighth grade, I wasn't picked on as much. We moved to another location and I actually became popular. I never said I was perfect but I tried not to pick on the kid everyone hated for some reason. I felt for that person for that was me. If I did go with the flow, I felt horrible later thinking "I'm just as bad as those kids who picked on me."

I could have been Eric Harris, or Dennis Klebold or even Cho. Or any of all the other kids out there who just couldn't take the psychological and physical abuse from their peers. But I wasn't. Neither were my two brothers, both suffering from attention deficit disorder before it was a diagnosis. They had it much worse with a lot more physical abuse. My younger brother actually taunted one of his attackers after they pushed him down a flight of stairs with his books flying everywhere. "Hit me," he screamed. "Just freaking hit me!" Surprisingly no one did. After that, he became immensely popular in his school. He graduated only a few years before the Columbine attack.

What was the difference between my brothers and I and these kids who feel they must shoot people to get revenge? Was it parenting? We all grew up with our mother at home. We didn't quite have the violent video games yet. We played outside more than we watched TV. I don't think we'll ever know the real reason.

One note for those who think it's funny to pick on geeks, nerds and dorks. You may want to think twice about teasing those quiet people who don't fit in. And after you graduate and live on your own, you'll realize no one's opinion matters more than yourself.

How much is too much media?

Okay,

I've gone into Virginia Tech tragedy overload. It's not about the stories of the 32 victims, it's the endless reports about Seung-Hui Cho. What he was like as a child, his anti-social behavior, his violent plays, what Steven King thought about his plays and so on. Yes, I read each article, trying to make sense of how someone could become so evil and waste all those lives. Then the video was discovered. This is where I need to draw a line. Was it necessary to show the video? Everywhere I went or logged on, there was countless, repeated shots of Cho brandishing weapons, grimacing at the camera and wielding hammers. Even my town's newspaper had two thirds of the front page devoted to this. I couldn't escape it. Neither could the families, friends and the rest of the country.

Our love affair with crime has a lot to do with this. We watch movies about serial killers. I'm not talking about fictional characters like Hannibal Lecter but "The Zodiac Killer," "Unsolved Mysteries," (which used to be a cool program about paranormal happenings until they switched topics) all three "CSI"s, Court TV and countless other programs that show crime. We also have countless news channels, news Web sites and newspapers reporting about every crime, taking every angle. I even read an article that one scene of Cho's manifesto reminded people of a Korean film. He was a sick person. I don't know what happened to him. I almost hope something did happen to him to make him that way so I don't lose my faith that someone could be that cold, calculating and downright evil just because he was.

Another thing I noticed about this week... all the anniversaries of horrible deaths like Columbine, the Branch Davidians at Waco, Texas, The Oklahoma bombings and now this. Coincidence? Not sure but it sure is weird. Humans tend to group like things together to try to make sense of events. Maybe that's all it is.

I dedicate this post to the 32 people who lost their lives this Monday, April 16, 2007. I also ask anyone who reads this post to take seriously the ravages of mental health. If you know someone who's having a tough time, don't tell them 'they're weak, it's all in their mind.' Just listen and realize, yes it's in their mind but it's as real as a heart attack.

Peace out,
Bugz

Customers Part Deux

After a long and frustrating night, I am now home in front of the computer. Customers on Friday the 13th are especially evil.

Opening packages: I understand the need to see what you're getting but must you rip apart packages, then leave them scattered across the floor? If you're shopping and you see two identical products next to each other, one taped, bulging with parts shooting out of the carton or the nicely cellophaned-wrapped package, which one would you choose? I thought so. These products are packed into their box a certain way and only a Rubik's Cube master can put it back the way it came. Since most people aren't Rubik's Cube masters, they stuff everything back into the box, usually upside down so when an employee goes to put it back, all the parts crash to the floor. Leave the dang package alone until you buy it and bring it home. I see you... DON'T OPEN IT!!!!

You can do it yourself: People pump their own gas, pick out their own food at the grocery store so why is it so hard for someone to understand sawing your own moulding. There's a saw, a tape measurer (which will be stolen by the end of the evening) a place to cut it. When I have told people they can cut their own moulding, it's like I've offended them. "What me? Use a saw?" Obviously if you're buying moulding, you must have saw skills. Most kiddie toy tool sets have saws so this isn't some obscure tool like a lathe or a router. Hammer, saw, screwdriver. Pretty basic stuff. I'm not even talking about little old men and ladies who have difficulty walking. Grown men are aghast at the notion they have to cut it themselves. Grown men also think it's amusing to watch women employees lift something 30 times their weight and not lift a finger to help them. Go watch Tool Time Tina Tickles Tacoma and keep your sleazy eyes off me.

Okay, the emptying of my mind is complete for tonight. Let's see what happens tomorrow!

Do customers have the right ... to be a horse's rear?

I work part-time at a hardware store and am amazed at the incredibly rude behavior some of our customers perform.

1. Interruption - Didn't your mother teach you not to interrupt a conversation between two adults? Why does that rule go out the window when the employee is obviously helping a customer and another one bleats out "I've got a question, where is...?" I could see if the employee is jawjacking with a co-worker or obviously trying to get a date with some hunk or some pretty thing. Wait your turn!!!!

2. Trash - This goes back to Mom again. Is a shelf in a store a good place to leave your nasty half-filled soda can or better yet, day-old coffee cup or spit cup? I find stuff behind displays, inbetween shelves and other interesting places.

3. Getting mad if the store is out of what you want - I get frustrated too when I can't find what I want but for Pete's sake, don't take it out on the employee if they have already climbed ladders, went outside and checked everywhere for your precious little bauble. Take a deep breath and move on.

4. Deciding the product on the very top shelf is the one you want (variation: on the bottom of the pile) - What is up with that? It is important to get a good product but if you haven't even looked yet, don't make the employee block half the store to get equipment to take it down all because a 2x4 has a little nick in it.

5. Learn to read - I've had countless people look and look for something and shove a box in my face asking me if it's right for them. The box, as with all boxes, usually tells you the key features of the product in English and Spanish. Usually once I read the box to them, the customer snatches it from my hands saying "that's it!" Thank Goodness for High School English!
6. Last minute shoppers - I am guilty of this too but I do try to make it quick. The ones I'm talking about are actually browsing and lollygagging around. Then when I approach them, asking them if they need help and the store has just closed, the obvious clues of dimmed lights and the loud announcement "The store is now closed" whisks over their heads. "What?" they say... "the store is closed?" like this is an impossible thing. I think locking them in for the night might help them learn.

7. Rearranging the store - I think people must have leave of their senses and drop whatever they have in their hands and put products in very odd places. I'm not even talking about similar items mixed together. Blinds in with the moulding; Paint cans on top of bricks; lights mixed in with nails. If you enjoy "find where this goes," play somewhere else.

8. Stealing - Empty packages make me sad. The items stolen are usually so cheap, why even do it?

9. Children - Why? Why must you bring your children in? I understand it's hard to find daycare or a babysitter but a hardware store is not a place for a child. They skate on their little "heelies" in front of large equipment that could squash them like a bug. They climb on carts like they are jungle gyms. Do people just want to get some extra cash by seeing if their child can get seriously hurt or worse? Or are parents secretly trying to get rid of their kids by throwing them to the wolves?

10. What to call the employee - How about Ma'am or Sir? Not "hey you" "sweetie" "shug" whistling, grabbing, pointing. We're not animals. We even have our names emblazened across our shirts.

I think this is enough for now...

What Muqtada al-Sadr really should tell the Iraqis

I heard this on NPR tonight and got this from CNN:
:::On Sunday, al-Sadr called on his followers to stop killing Iraqi forces and focus instead on resisting Americans.
"You, the Iraqi army and police forces, do not walk alongside the occupiers because they are your enemy," the statement said. "I am here to advise you the honest resister hope for two things from God: either victory or martyrdom. But at the same time, the honest resister should not kill a fellow Iraqi.":::

So, don't kill Iraqis, kill Americans. Good plan, Muqtada.

Why don't you say this instead?

You, the Iraqi army, police forces, and everyone else in this country, let's get our collective camel dung together and take the initiative. Let's govern ourselves so the Americans will realize while we probably won't ever be a democracy, we'll be a stable, productive country and be able to withstand influences of Iran and Syria. I'm sure the Americans don't want to be in this country any longer than they have to so let's give it an old Arab try and act like a real country instead of bludgeoning each other to death. Let's show even the Americans how we, the Iraqis, can live with our differences and be at peace with that.

Wouldn't life be grand? Buzzzzzzzzzz

The Bugz is back ... but for how long?

Hi,

Lots has happened since I posted last. I have a bachelor's degree and now work two jobs to pay for my student loans. Rumsfeld is gone, Iran is up to its usual tricks, Elections are coming. Yuck! I hurt my back today so here I am sittting with a vibrating pillow ;) typing away again.

I think Nancy Pelosi may start her very own country since she's decided to make her own foreign policy. What would we call the country? Pelosinasia? Syria? Lady, you have big cajones! (not unlike my chinese hamster's freakishly huge cajones - they're HUGE! and it's just a little guy!)

Well, let's see if I can come up with more tomorrow. I have flexeral in me and my pillow is calling! Good night!

Bugz

Wow! It's been busy!

I'm finally done with this week's paper and am ready for the Feast of Gluttony, Thanksgiving. At the office, we had a party for someone who's leaving so everyone feasted and feasted. It's hard to work when you've filled yourself with tryptophan-filled turkey, gobs of stuffing and pecan pie for dessert.

Wouldn't office scheduled naps be wonderful? About 3 p.m., we could lay out our mats, put on our sleep mask and cuddle our favorite pillow until 4. Naps are wasted on the young. Too bad we can't bottle up that sugar-high child energy and give ourselves a slow drip during the day. You know, I get cranky too! Naps rule.

I must be the only one ... is Evolution a theory? I overheard some people aghast at the notion to take off stickers on Georgia science books telling us Evolution is a theory. If it is, it sure is a popular one. Has a little evidence to back it up too. Guess what? Men and women have the same amount of ribs ... go figure. Check out pictures at http://biology.clc.uc.edu/courses/bio105/ribs.htm . Here's a lovely little link: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ev_stat.htm They also have other links about Creationism and Naturalistic evolution, something I believe in. I learned something today! I am a Naturalistic Evolution believer kind of person! The religious tolerance website looks very good ... lots of footnotes and the sort. Its nice to see a balanced religious site! Kudos to you!

On a gay note: What is this thing about Gays and the Bible? There are approximately 6 references to homosexuality in the bible yet we continue to persecute Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and transcendence persons. The ones of Leviticus really puzzle me. How is it we still think men who sleep with men shall go to hell yet we weave together two different kinds of cloth, eat pork and shellfish? These are also punishable by death, if memory serves me right.

Leviticus 19:19"You must obey all my laws."Do not breed your cattle with other kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven from two different kinds of fabric.

Just a sampling from the book of Leviticus. We all should be glad we can just confess our sins, you used to have to sacrifice animals to get rid of your sins. And for all you southerners who love fatback, fat belongs to the Lord!

Leviticus 3:16-17 The priest will burn them on the altar as food, an offering made by fire; these will be very pleasing to the LORD. Remember, all the fat belongs to the LORD. "You must never eat any fat or blood. This is a permanent law for you and all your descendants, wherever they may live."

Okay, my point here is we don't do a lot of what is in the Bible. Why? My theory is humankind has progressed and some of the items of the Bible are outdated. Some, not all. Most of the laws mentioned are plain common sense. Pork, if not cooked properly, can kill you with parasites such as trichinosis. Don't eat Pork. Shellfish also are dangerous if not cooked properly. The whole litany about don't sleep with your relatives makes sense too -- don't thin the blood.

I feel if God made me the way I am (gay), why would God continue to persecute me? Nobody made me gay. I didn't have an abusive childhood. I am not promiscuous. I chose to love someone who happens to be the same sex as me. Do you think I'd volunteer to be ostracized and have no rights whatsoever and have to watch everything I do just in case I offend some maniac who will either call me something not nice or worse, kill me? People can love each other no matter what race, sex or orientation or anything else they are. I don't think love can be wrong. There is so much poverty, hatred and anger in this world. Couldn't we tend to those problems instead of impeding the rights of a group of people? You don't have to marry me in your church -- I can go to the justice of the peace. Just let go, people! I swear we won't mess up marriage any more than it is already.

'Nuff said.
Bugz

Have a great Thanksgiving.